2006年4月2日
University renamed in honor of Microsoft founder
by Melissa Santos
The Daily
The Board of Regents has renamed the UW the University of Bill Gates to honor the Microsoft co-founder for his large contributions to the University.
Accordingly, all of the UW athletic teams will be renamed "the Windows," and the UW logo will become the Microsoft corporate logo.
The name change is appropriate because in the past the UW has received infinitely more money from the Gates family than it has from the state of Washington, said Randy Hodgins, director of the UW Office of State Relations.
In 2005, Bill and Melinda Gates gave the UW $27 billion, while the State Legislature contributed $18.
"Most of the campus was built by Bill Gates anyway," Hodgins said."We're just telling it like it is."
For students, the biggest perk may be the corporation's donation of an Xbox to every person enrolled at the University.
In response, students have initiated dorm-wide Halo tournaments that some have blamed for yesterday's record-low class attendance.
"It was empty in Kane 130," said psychology professor Lois McDermott, "and I was lecturing about sex."
In a less popular move, the University of Bill Gates has also banned all Apple products out of respect for its new namesake.
The University of Bill Gates Police Department will detain anyone caught using a Macintosh computer or carrying an iPod.
"It's totally lame," said sophomore Yvonne Kellner. "I can't get around without music. I'd like, have to interact with people."
Police are bracing themselves for a mass uprising in response to the iPod ban.
"It'll die down after a while," said Ray Wittmier, assistant chief of the University of Bill Gates Police Department. "People will eventually just lose the will to live."
On the other side of things, UW President Mark Emmert said he anticipates that Gates will be so flattered by the University's new name that he will initiate a series of new building projects on the campus.
He particularly hopes Gates will bulldoze and replace Padelford Hall, the multi-wing building that houses the math, English and women studies departments.
"I got lost in there yesterday," Emmert said.
========================================================
I like you so much, Emmert!! Please tell me it's NOT TRUE..................
posted by Biochemie on 8:31 下午
0 comments
__________________________________________________________________
|
